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I want you to come with us

LovePosted by Eskil Steenberg Thu, November 06, 2008 04:19:10

I was watching one of those crappy MTV documentaries some time ago. It was about Timberland. He was rolling up to a party in his Lamborghini. He turned on the base line of "Sexy Back" that he had been working on earlier that day. Pretty women quickly surrounded the car. But then when they weren't looking he turned to the camera and said. "I'm only dropping by for 20 minutes for show my respect, but then I have to get back home to work in my studio" That moment gave him a lot of respect from me. Its about the work, hard work.

I'm not particularly educated, and I have no resources to speak of, but I have me, and what ever i want to do, I will have to do myself. The opportunities you don't get, you have to make. If it needs programming ill learn how to program. Recently I had an argument with a designer, who claimed that if he learned about the technical details it would "taint" his vision. To me getting down and dirty, earns respect and to gain knowledge will open your mind not close it.

In a way I am a visionary, but its not something I hold in great esteem. Vision sounds good, but it is action that counts. Over the years I have filled my hard drives with designs and visions for all types of enterprise. But none of it matters to my hard drive. The more time I spend working I find it harder to criticise other peoples work. No critic, no matter how brilliant, can ever measure up to her worst subject, because the world should belong to those who try, even when they fail.

If you want to improve housing, don't start an petition for urban development, build houses. If you want to see more women in game development, Don't start a woman in games interest group, start a game company and hire women. Don't complain about global worming, stop driving your car. If you want to build a game that is different, build it that way.

Why go at it alone? Me? Because I am alone. I simply do what I can, and then I try to go beyond that, sometimes too far. Together we are strong, therefor i am not, but I'm trying. I have considered organizing. Inviting people to contribute to something. I don't know what. Ive never been a great organizer, but with help maybe I could learn.

Greatness comes from executing great many details great. My thoughts are often complex, even convoluted, and it requires real effort to communicate, to the point that I even hide my thoughts for fear of being misunderstood, and choose to execute myself. 

Any talent I have as a leader are subdued by my doubt that any one should follow. I have never been a follower, so how could I ask any one to follow me? Why should others devote their life's to my dream when they can devote it to their own dream. It is a valid question, but the answer is simple: We may share dreams.

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Posted by Edic Sat, February 20, 2010 06:31:53

...Eskil, may I become your pupil? ...I do not know what I am... either a follower with big "impossible" dreams, or a leader who does not know how to lead... Please, I want you to help me find my real calling, because everything I do or say in a certain time is always contradicted by my later thoughts... I change constantly for no apparent reason... I'm not stable... I have no direction in life... No real goal.

May you help me?

Posted by Lorkhan Sat, April 11, 2009 05:01:58

"In a way I am a visionary, but its not something I hold in great esteem. Vision sounds good, but it is action that counts. Over the years I have filled my hard drives with designs and visions for all types of enterprise. But none of it matters to my hard drive."
that's... disturbingly familiar. "architect" on the keirsey test?

Posted by lost in space Wed, February 25, 2009 19:49:51

we nly work with down and dirty hands on sleeves rolled up designers!!

Posted by brew Sun, January 18, 2009 01:55:36

Excellent post Eskil, especially regarding the proactive thoughts towards getting things accomplished instead of complaining. One poster mentions you seem a bit overwhelmed by the project.. you might consider finding a protege to work on smaller parts of it with you. Good military leaders have learned you don't have to tell people how to do things, just tell them what needs to get done, and let their brilliance do the rest.

Posted by Tempest Mon, January 12, 2009 17:33:51

*cough* AcidJazzed Evening *cough*

Posted by G-Flex Mon, December 22, 2008 09:50:54

Your comment about Timbaland is kind of sadly ironic, as he (at some point) actually swiped an entire chiptune from some guy for the song "Do It". I guess Commodore 64 composers don't need to have their work cleared for sampling like "real" musicians. It's just sad how little recourse people have to plagiarism sometimes, and how easy it can be. Guess you can't always trust people's personae on MTV, but you knew that.

That being said, I heard about "Love" a long time ago and decided to check up on it again, and it's wonderful to see you here and writing. We need more independently creative people in the world, and I (and others) seriously like to encourage anything which actually furthers game design as a form of true, genuine, innovative art, rather than simply mindless entertainment or as another form of high-budget hollywood-style commercial art, as we've been seeing in recent years.

Posted by Tinus Wed, December 10, 2008 19:56:07

Global Worming -> this will be the title of my new game.


Posted by Toby Fri, November 14, 2008 20:05:21

well, I just popped by to find out more about "love" and instead I find some fairly powerful insight into the human condition.

I'm definitely going to stick around and find out some more about this.

Good luck - you need that as much as hard work and vision :)

Posted by Fish Sun, November 09, 2008 05:00:24

Sounds like you're having a rough time, Eskil. You were always so adamant and proud to be doing Love completely by yourself, and now it sounds like you might be reaching for help. Let me just say this:

I have great respect for your ability to do what you have so far without help. I could not be much more impressed, I definitely am excited to eventually get my hands on the game. It seems like a wonderful piece of your mind. Because of that, if you ever feel like you can't keep going... if you are ever on the edge of dropping Love for any reason... I'm here for you. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one reading your posts and thinking that. You are making something worthwhile. I'm amazed at your abilities and what you've accomplished so far. Just know that if it ever comes down to "get help or quit," there are people like me just waiting for the chance to help out.

Love may not be my dream, but I believe in it. If nothing else, let me cheer you on.

Posted by makosanders Sun, November 09, 2008 03:09:52

Being good at making money, usually means going against the good of the consumer. Being good at keeping power, usually means going against the good of the people.
Etc.

Posted by boy louie Sat, November 08, 2008 20:37:15

Eskil, you have such profound ideas and are well-spoken. Your insight into life is so genuine and honest, and original.

I totally believe in what you say about being the person to affect change; that if you want something to change, be the person to change it. I think that many people feel powerless and refuse to accept responsibility for what's in their control - only, that we do have the power individually, collectively and we can give up control, but never responsibility.

"The world should belong to those who try, even when they fail." You say it best. There is too much focus on end results, and not enough attention to process and effort. It's hard to be a visionary, but to put into practice your dreams is so powerfully rewarding.

I wish you every success and lesson that comes with following your dreams.

Isaac Louie
Vancouver, Canada

Posted by formula1 Fri, November 07, 2008 21:38:47

I disagree that work should be hard nor should earn respect. If you wanted to do the hard work, thats something YOU wanted to do, not something that deserves respect.

I see some things and realize that they weren't made by hard work, they were made by giving a child with great aspirations, simple tools to do it. I'd say the best lego toys were made for fun, not because it was hard. Likewise many games lose focus on working with Ideas because they get so into the whole idea of how hard it is to work on them.

Likewise, so many people start great projects and never finish them just because
1) Its such hard work
2) They do it alone
3) They have other things they have to do in life that distracts them from it

If everyone could program, game making would be about idea making. it wouldn't be about programming.

It is true, we are all alone.
It is also true, we live in a universe that hasn't been understood completely by ourselves. We may need to use the world as our tool in order to make what we want happen.

I am all for pain, and resistance in order to prove ones worth. But I don't agree that pain should be in between a person and their goals if their goals are appropaite. THe difference between an appropiate goal and in inappropiate goal is one that can be shared by others. Thus, when two people can make a goal happen, the work is divided.

Likewise, our world has many goals that need to be accomplished. And if you think that you can alone change the world in a better way, I hope you can. However, many people were made with weaknesses, and likewise you may have also. To find help from those that are willing and are excited to is what I believe one of the things that we can look to when things get bad.

I don't think hard work demands respect, I do think wisedom does. But a persons ability to deal with hard work shows a persons worth.

Posted by Jared Lemon Fri, November 07, 2008 14:16:48

Always a stimulating read!

Posted by Retronator Thu, November 06, 2008 18:33:56

Kudos! I often think about the same kind of issues, how you can't expect others to work for you if you can't really work for someone else. But, as you imply, working with them instead of for them is, when the same goals are shared, synergy.

However, then you can ask, what is the possiblity of two people sharing the same exact dreams? I would think very little (in fact zero if it's supposed to be exact). But from experience I am just gathering now by working in a team is that - because people have different looks on things - you can learn a lot about your own views and perfect them. The difference of the vision makes you see flaws which were invisible to you individualy, if only because you're the one who thought out the solution to some problem and it's easy to be just satisfied with a working solution without questioning if the path that brought us to the problem was the correct one to take in the first place.

So I think the fear of losing the integrity of your vision if you would have to make compromises by working in a team, can be solved by not looking at working in a team as a compromise environemnt, but rather as a win-win or no-deal situation. Then you will be suprprised, how many times you can turn 'arguments' into solutions that work better than any of the slutions you individually proposed at the start of the argument. And that is the beauty of synergy and why the whole is more than the sum of its parts.

It is still however not trivial to find people that have even remotely same dreams and can also bring the same amount of work/expertise/value to the table as you. Because many people share the same dreams, but you can easily end up with people who you spend more time teaching the arts of the trade that makes you quite less productive than by just working alone.

Posted by nihilocrat Thu, November 06, 2008 15:01:51

Organizing others, particularly if the work is volunteer, is pretty difficult to do. The main problem seems to be just keeping everyone interested. Make sure they feel like they are making meaningful contributions.


I don't really fault you going it alone. Being alone means you have supreme control of the project; scheduling, vision, design, etc., and you avoid a lot of work/worry because you don't have to manage anyone else.

Posted by N Thu, November 06, 2008 11:36:10

First off, you're really great! It's amazing everything you've accomplished so far.
Eh, don't have too much to say: I agree with everything you say on your posts. Sometimes it's a burden to work alone, sometimes it's better. I like to work by myself while I can, and then I ask for help. I'd love to help you with your game by any means I could. Yes, we share dreams.

Posted by Tentus Thu, November 06, 2008 05:04:43

Something that I find is that I am not a great visionary, nor a great technician. I have ideas, sure, but what I personally really excel at is taking my little ideas and skills and then using them to make someone else's grander vision come to reality. A sort of rubber-meets-the-road guy, making the bigger idea move and leaving small tracks.

Sometimes, in order to get a project done, people like me are needed. Sometimes we can really help make things happen. And in my personal experience, getting people like to coordinate is very very difficult, so I definitely appreciate your loner stance. But none of my greatest works were done alone: many visions can flesh out a single vision much more deeply.

What's worked for me in the past is not a simple manager-worker format, but rather what we sometimes call a theological format. The lead man, the guy with the vision on a grand scale, tells people what is needed. They're free to do or not do as they please, but the lead man sticks to his vision and makes sure that those who follow are actually contributing in the right direction. It often helps to have an intermediate layer of the hierarchy as well: the lead man appoints a couple of others that he knows can see the vision, at least in their distinct departments, and lets them handle the irritatingly trivial details that inevitably pop up in a large-scale project, while the lead man continues to lead by example.

Posted by appreciator Thu, November 06, 2008 05:00:56

I have an untold amount of respect for you and your work. This is the sort of thing I think about all the time, every day. You are fortunate to have a means of expressing your complex and convoluted thoughts. I hope that I can achieve what you have done in creating a way to speak my mind in full. I have yet to find a way to do it, but its a dream I hold on to, and you give me hope that someday I can do it too.